The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
