I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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