I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i will never coherently bang her
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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