Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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