Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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