Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
