I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
