i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
