So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I deserve this hangover.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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