I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
