So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
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There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
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I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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