Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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