Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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