At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
