drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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