She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
