Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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