Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
