How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
