I'll bet she douches with gravy.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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