I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize