Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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