forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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