found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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