hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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