Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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