If i come over, it means nothing
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
