i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
do herpes really smell.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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