I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
