But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
