How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Terrible idea I love it
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
