at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
