some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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