I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
