Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
