The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My cat gives me a boner
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
