CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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