Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
