I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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