I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
