Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
