guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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