people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
