That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
