I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
