i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
