she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
