If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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