i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize