It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
