dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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