i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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