from now on my penis is your penis
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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