Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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