dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
