So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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