you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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