At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
