omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
