you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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