We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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