Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize