Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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