I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
