Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
