she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
