There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sorry my hands just texted you
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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